Diana Helmuth – Medium

Diana Helmuth

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The Witching Year: A Memoir of Earnest Fumbling Through Modern Witchcraft

The Witching Year: A Memoir of Earnest Fumbling Through Modern Witchcraft

A Memoir of Earnest Fumbling Through Modern Witchcraft

2023

Stories

In

Slackjaw

by

Diana Helmuth

·

Aug 6, 2025

We Must Keep The American Wilderness Public So That I May Enjoy It By Myself

The Great Outdoors belongs to everyone, and by that I mean only people who know how to be outside correctly.

We Must Keep The American Wilderness Public So That I May Enjoy It By Myself

Diana Helmuth

·

Jun 30, 2025

Can Someone Please Tell Me How to Talk About Palestine?

I am writing an essay about the dangers of staying silent for fear of being misunderstood, and I am terrified to publish it, for fear of…

Can Someone Please Tell Me How to Talk About Palestine?

Diana Helmuth

·

Aug 13, 2024

Olympic Categories for Millennials

Touching Someone Else’s Cat Contestants judged on: Squat form; slow blinking; enunciation of “pspspsps.”

Olympic Categories for Millennials

Diana Helmuth

·

Oct 25, 2023

I Hate October.

I have a confession: I hate October. I am aware this is an opinion bordering on excommunicative for my identity as both a white woman and…

I Hate October.

Diana Helmuth

·

Aug 4, 2023

I Spent a Year Trying to Turn Myself Into a Witch. Here’s What Happened.

We are in a Witch heyday. Witchcraft has been the fastest growing religion in the US for at least the past 10 years. One peek at TikTok and…

I Spent a Year Trying to Turn Myself Into a Witch. Here’s What Happened.

Diana Helmuth

·

Jul 31, 2023

If You Want to Feel Better, Celebrate Lammas (Which is Today)

Let me open this essay by saying: I am not a spiritual leader. I do not aspire to be a spiritual leader, and I am not trying to sell you…

If You Want to Feel Better, Celebrate Lammas (Which is Today)

In

Slackjaw

by

Diana Helmuth

·

May 26, 2022

When Human Life Definitely Begins, According to All These Different People

Don’t worry, together we can make sure you have the correct opinion.

When Human Life Definitely Begins, According to All These Different People

In

An Injustice!

by

Diana Helmuth

·

Nov 22, 2021

Belle Should Have Married Lumiere. There I Said It

On a cross-country flight last week, I found myself with exactly 89 minutes to kill and my finger hovering over the Play button on a…

Belle Should Have Married Lumiere. There I Said It

Diana Helmuth

·

Aug 5, 2021

If I Don’t Know How to Mourn You, Can I Make It Up?

I walk towards the homeless encampment carefully. Which is to say, as if it’s not there.

If I Don’t Know How to Mourn You, Can I Make It Up?

Diana Helmuth

·

May 12, 2021

Why I Prefer Working With Moms

We’ve all seen it. If you are capable of growing babies in your body and also desire to work outside the home, you’ve probably felt it: the…

Why I Prefer Working With Moms

Diana Helmuth

Diana Helmuth

Book Author

Natn'l Outdoor Book Award winner. Post Modern Cupcake. Pretty Cool but I Cry a Lot. Author of "The Witching Year."

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