Diana Helmuth – Medium

Diana Helmuth

Featured Book

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The Witching Year: A Memoir of Earnest Fumbling Through Modern Witchcraft

The Witching Year: A Memoir of Earnest Fumbling Through Modern Witchcraft

A Memoir of Earnest Fumbling Through Modern Witchcraft

2023

Stories

Diana Helmuth

Olympic Categories for Millennials

Touching Someone Else’s Cat Contestants judged on: Squat form; slow blinking; enunciation of “pspspsps.”

Aug 13

Olympic Categories for Millennials

Aug 13

Diana Helmuth

I Hate October.

I have a confession: I hate October. I am aware this is an opinion bordering on excommunicative for my identity as both a white woman and…

Oct 25, 2023

I Hate October.

Oct 25, 2023

Diana Helmuth

I Spent a Year Trying to Turn Myself Into a Witch. Here’s What Happened.

We are in a Witch heyday. Witchcraft has been the fastest growing religion in the US for at least the past 10 years. One peek at TikTok and…

Aug 4, 2023

I Spent a Year Trying to Turn Myself Into a Witch. Here’s What Happened.

Aug 4, 2023

Diana Helmuth

If You Want to Feel Better, Celebrate Lammas (Which is Today)

Let me open this essay by saying: I am not a spiritual leader. I do not aspire to be a spiritual leader, and I am not trying to sell you…

Jul 31, 2023

If You Want to Feel Better, Celebrate Lammas (Which is Today)

Jul 31, 2023

Diana Helmuth
in
Slackjaw

When Human Life Definitely Begins, According to All These Different People

Don’t worry, together we can make sure you have the correct opinion.

May 26, 2022

When Human Life Definitely Begins, According to All These Different People

May 26, 2022

Diana Helmuth
in
An Injustice!

Belle Should Have Married Lumiere. There I Said It

On a cross-country flight last week, I found myself with exactly 89 minutes to kill and my finger hovering over the Play button on a…

Nov 22, 2021

Belle Should Have Married Lumiere. There I Said It

Nov 22, 2021

Diana Helmuth

If I Don’t Know How to Mourn You, Can I Make It Up?

I walk towards the homeless encampment carefully. Which is to say, as if it’s not there.

Aug 5, 2021

If I Don’t Know How to Mourn You, Can I Make It Up?

Aug 5, 2021

Diana Helmuth

Why I Prefer Working With Moms

We’ve all seen it. If you are capable of growing babies in your body and also desire to work outside the home, you’ve probably felt it: the…

May 12, 2021

Why I Prefer Working With Moms

May 12, 2021

Diana Helmuth
in
The Bold Italic

Vitamin Supplements to Help You Manage Fascism

Supplements to help you de-stress while democracy fails

Sep 22, 2020

Simple illustration of a person sitting anxiously inside a pill bottle, 5 capsules on the ground outside it.

Sep 22, 2020

Diana Helmuth
in
The Bold Italic

My Attempt at Actual ‘Social’ Distancing

We may be physically isolating, but we’re completely overindulging in online communication

Aug 31, 2020

A bubble in space, containing a person sitting in a field by mountains, surrounded by mail/heart notification icons.

Aug 31, 2020

Diana Helmuth

Diana Helmuth

Book Author

Natn'l Outdoor Book Award winner. Post Modern Cupcake. Pretty Cool but I Cry a Lot. Author of "The Witching Year."

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